That fateful night - Chapter Two

Knowing what was to come and facing it, were two different things, and he knew that well. How was he to face the one challenge that he knew he was not strong enough for? The doubt and the ever growing anger that burned within him, made him want to put an end to everything. As crazy as it sounded, that seemed like the better option. After knowing her for so long and after going through so much with her by his side, he knew that going about it alone was not going to be easy. And that was putting it mildly, he knew that he just couldn't do it! She was the corner stone on which he had built the later part of his life on, and she was the one for him. Now she was being taken away from his grip and that was just to much to bare alone. As hard as he taught it was going to be, things were going to be harder. A stupid, innocent child was about to become a man, a mind that was drowning in ideals that were so green, was now going to be left to dry in the cold that was the world. Hours he had spent contemplating what was to come, yet what was coming was beyond him. Looking at his watch, he realised that time was running out and he had to get ready soon. It was time for the metal to meet the meat, so to speak. It was time for him to put on his armor and ride into battle. To face what years of living could not help him it. Nothing in his live could prepare him for what was ahead, it was as if he were blind folded and asked to find a key in a dark room. So was his situation.

As he walked towards his car, his knees were wobling from the immense fear that rested quietly on his shoulders. Reaching out to his door handle, a moment of hesitation filled his heart and soul, for a brief second he wanted to turn around and not face her. In that split second the very taught of running away seemed more appealing to him then anything else. In that moment of weakness he gave into that very notion, he gave into failure. Walking back to his room, he sat down and just stared into oblivium. Trying desperately to silence the voices of his consience that yelled out to him, screaming out the difference between right and wrong. Suddenlly, his phone rang. Assuming it was her calling, he took his own sweet time and took out his phone from his pocket. Deep down he knew he was doing the wrong thing, deep down he knew he was being a coward, deep down he hoped she would understand. To his surprise however it was his mother calling. A moment of relieve blew across his heart and he answered. "How are you handling things son?" his mother asked. His reply was neither convincing nor the truth and his mother knew it. " I'm ok ma, just sitting in my room, busy with assignments." "Aren't you suppose to be on your way to the airport by now?" his mother asked. Knowing not what was suppose to be said next, he fell into silence. His tongue was tied by his need to be brave and his need to not show weakness. Yet, it was the coward in him that was prevailing today. His mother understood which path he had chosen, she did not need an answer nor did she need confirmation on what her son had chose to do. She understood why he would go about this the way he had, still she knew it was not the best choice to make. Especially not for a man. Being a lady of her age, having walked a little further on in life as her son, her reply was short yet precise. " Son, always remember, courage is not the absence of fear, instead it is the recognition that there is something else greater then fear. I am sure you will do the right thing." She hung up and he sat alone in his room for a few minutes. In his head his mother's words were bouncing of every corner in his mind. He knew what his mother meant, but still putting those words is action was way more difficult then it had seemed. He knew the ball was in his court, and he knew that his next move would be determine how he would lead his life forever.

He started his engine an waited for a moment to get the engine warmed up. While he waited the fear that now had built a home in his heart, was to much to handle. Still he needed to be strong for his love, that was her. He had to put aside his notion of fear and move like a man. Knowing that life would always place obsticles ahead he chose to burst through them. He wanted to be by her side and hold her and whisper into her ear how much he loved her and how things were going to be just fine. Wheather is was something he wanted to do remained a question, but was it something he had to do, returned a thundering yes! He drove on at a steady pace, and did so only because that was the kind of driver he was. Never to fast and never to slow on the road. He knew he had plenty of time to reach his destination, and so there was no need to rush. The sound of his favourite songs echoed in the cockpit, bringing to him whatever little comfort it could. Admitedly he had heard those songs a million times, yet today there was going to be a huge change in his life and the question of change in his CD pouch was not of any concern to him. Again he glanced at his watch, realising that he was going to reach earlier then expected, he wound down the window and lit a ciggarate. As he was doing so his favourite song came on, as if to remind him of what laid ahead. For a while now his mind had seemed to get tired from thinking of her leaving that it spaced out and focused on nothing at all. It was as if he was in a world of his own and nothing mattered outside of it. In the background Rob Thomas sang his song entitled 'Now Comes The Night', and it felt as though the song was made for the moment. As he heard it, the words that carried the song seem to bring about a metaphorical pat on the back. As to say that he was doing the right thing. The soulful piano mixed with the emotion packed voice of Rob Thomas, was enough to prepare him for the moments ahead, to make his heart stronger and ready. At the end of the song, '....let us hold onto each other till the end of our days' urged a notion of hope in him that would never go away.